A Question For Western Minds

Is incest okay?

Well, that question caught you completely off-guard, didn’t it? You might be like ‘What the hell? She used to be a girl with such innocent topics to talk about!’- unless you immediately answered with a ‘Hell yeah!’, which is a bit weird… and not the good weird. Yeah, don’t worry, it’s not me I’m asking for.

First of all, I’m going to share a bit of a personal detail with you… I do not live in the US, or anywhere in the Western side of the world. Hence, I don’t know if my opinion is that of an Eastern narrow-minded person or just rational, but I need you to hear me out.

So, a pair of siblings, who are two first cousins of mine, are living in the US. One of them is married and is living with her own little family. The other, however, had a fallout in their marriage and is currently single. So, this person (let’s call them P) left the US to visit us for about two weeks. On the day P arrived, all of a sudden, P’s niece/nephew (let’s call them N) – according to family relations mostly since N is older than me but is my niece/nephew as well – arrived at the airport to meet P and followed them all the way to our house. Keep in mind that it’s been almost a year since N visited our house so it was clear that N came along just to stay with P. And we weren’t wrong.

N followed P to their house as well and, since, N was a close relative, P’s parents allowed N to stay. When P and N were seen together during the entire duration of two weeks, my family knew something was not right but they decided to let it go as P would go back to the US and would be separated from N anyway, and besides, maybe it was a completely platonic relationship and not what they suspected. But little did they know that P and N had planned something that went against all their morals.

We found out just a few days ago that P had sent a letter to their embassy. It was a request for dependent visa where P was pretending to be N’s spouse. Had P’s sibling not seen the letter accidentally, we’d have never known. P and N had never discussed that with anyone. P had been a sensible person who was always taking things light-heartedly so when my family found out, everyone was in shock. When confronted, they both denied that they were romantically involved but, after a little sleuthing on P’s sibling’s part, we found out about the collection of love letters in P’s email sent box that were solely written for N. Since then, my parents and P’s parents have tried talking to him and convincing him to have a rational mind and take back the letter but P always just laughs it off, waving it off as if their parents’ worries are a joke.

Personally, I think this is very very wrong on so many levels. They have an age gap of more than ten years but that’s not the problem here. The problem is that they’re relatives. I mean, I’m all for rebelling against the society but this is taking it too far. It’s not a limit that should be crossed. I don’t know how someone can harbour romantic feelings towards someone that they’ve seen grow up from a little toddler to an adult and had done the baby… stuff (pictures to the right, since I can’t explain it right). offset_103159mom-and-baby
Even if they did somehow do that, they should stop themselves from going further and understand that it’s not right. In fact, if there are six other people who act and behave completely like us, the person should keep that in mind and go find one of the other six. This is one thing that you can’t be lazy about and say ‘Eh, why go far to get one? Lets just go with the one down the hall’.

Another reason for this to stop is that there will most probably be a huge disagreement between that person and their parents. My parents care about P as much as they do about their own children so when he dismissed their concern and refused to take their view into consideration, they were devastated. P’s mother is being kept in the darkness because they’ve had family problems before that have rendered her sad already. My parents are really really sensitive beings and their biggest worry is that someday their children (us) might forget everything they did for us, completely disregard their feelings and care about them only because we’d feel that it’s our duty. P should’ve known that and should’ve acted differently. But P didn’t. For the way P ignored his family’s feelings and made my father cry for the first time in front of me, I might never forgive P.

This in itself was not the big thing that saddened my family, but it definitely was the last straw. So yeah, a bit of a serious update, but do tell me your answer to the question on the very first line of this post. And that wraps up this post!

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2 thoughts on “A Question For Western Minds

  1. Just A Blank Space April 27, 2016 at 5:03 pm Reply

    This is a really deep topic. First I believe that everyone should be allowed to love whoever they want. I think sometimes we can’t control who we fall in love with but at the same time I don’t think that having a relationship with a relative is a good think. It tears apart families and there are so many things I can’t even list right now. In the end it is the decision those two have to make on their own. Maybe it is hard to accept but you can’t control others.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Now, Lets talk April 27, 2016 at 6:49 pm Reply

      I agree. Parents should be allowed to control their children if they’re doing something wrong, but if the children are already adults, they’d have to have their freedom. But this whole thing is just so wrong.

      Liked by 1 person

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