It’s currently exams time and I’m stressed. Not because I don’t know anything, but because I don’t want to learn anything right now. My study mood and my mind have kind of an on-off relationship.
Why am I not interested in studying right now?
There are times when I love studying and is the only thing I look forward to but, at times like this, I just don’t want to. Believe me, I’ve tried. The list of things that have been tried but have failed to motivate and interest me is increasing by every minute, just like my frustration is. I’ve tried listening to zen music to calm my mind and stop it from thinking about other things. I’ve tried shutting down all my devices and burying my nose in the book so I’d have no other option but to read it. I’ve tried eating lots of snacks, which, I’ve learnt, is not such a great idea, to ensure that hunger isn’t the thing stopping me. I’ve tried stretching and walking around inside my home but to no avail.
Why the hell am I still not interested in studying?
The thing is that I’m productive at unnecessary things at unnecessary times. In my hours of procrastination, I have done a lot of work for things that are unimportant right now. I sang a song with immediately thought up lines, liked the lyrics and wrote them down while composing it. I came across some short stories and then partially updated a draft for my Wattpad story. I thought about my future and all the things I could do after graduating.
Ugh, is there anything that I haven’t tried yet? Is there anybody else like me?